At the beginning of the school-year, I was not too worried about the class. But as time went on, it just got worse and worse.
Unfortunately, I have no other Calculus class experience to compare this experience to, so I really don't have a way to gauge whether or not the way I am being exposed to Calculus is poor or not. But even if it is a poor exposure, I feel as though Calculus really isn't such a tough class that I couldn't get by without much hassle despite a "poor exposure."
There are just a few people in the class who are doing fine, and it feels so weird not to be one of them. I am always one of the few people who pass a class with ease. Seeing them glide through the lessons does evoke jealousy in me, but it is a strange jealousy.
My school has a bad reputation when it comes to overall performance and AP test scores. Hardly any people pass the tests. This is all confusing to me, because really, what is so hard about these tests/classes that only two-five people pass them? Some years, nobody passes the test. But in other schools, a majority of the students pass the test. This is much more reasonable, in my opinion.
So, is it just that students from my poorer-area school are dumber than students in other schools? Are they less motivated?
This cannot be so, because I know these students. The majority of them are no dumber nor smarter or less motivated than students from other areas, yet the disparity between test scores still exists. How? Why? And of course, for myself, why am I among them?
I believe that I still have a chance of learning what I need to learn in order to pass the AP exam, and I am starting to act upon this belief, but of course I still have doubts based on the statistics and how I have been doing so far.
That is just some of my story concerning my experience with Calculus. A majority of it has to do with my slacking off this year. But I am purposely slacking off because I feel as though I never slacked off (which I haven't) so I am taking advantage of my ending high school years to do the slacking off and slightly rebellious things I never did before it's too late. But the whole story regarding that situation shall be for a future post.
Here is a cool song I have been listening to the past two days. :)